Southern Etiquette Rules and More ...

A little history ...
Some of you know my mother died right after I was borne, my dad decided he did not want me so he gave me to his sister. Her name was Sally - she was "my mama". (1st rule of the South - your mother is called Mama)  Sally was 60 when she took me to raise as her own. She had already raised six children of her own who were by then grown. We lived in remote west Texas and she raised me as an only child. I loved her and she love me. She taught me things I never dreamed I would be traveling the country teaching to others as my career. The values she taught me we're never referred to as "The Rules of Etiquette", it was just the way things were done - common sense.

Here are some examples:

• Treat others the way you want to be treated. (later to find out, that one is in the Bible - Luke 6:31)
• Always be nice to those who aren't nice to you. This one has paid off big time! (hey, that one is in the Bible too - read Matt: 5:44)
• Do your best! (now I know why I stay confused whether my mama said it or if it comes from The Bible - See Col:3:23)
• People will let you down - God won't. (come to think of it, she was teaching me Scripture all along, I just didn't know it - Matt:28:20)

At an early age, she taught me to set a table properly, write a thank-you note immediately, and put away white after Labor Day (always my birthday weekend). We brought out our linen clothes and patent leather after Easter each year. The reason was never discussed and I never asked why - it was just the way we did it.


Here's a question asked on my "Just Ask Joy" email regarding dress after Labor Day.

Dear Joy,

I read your "Socially Savvy" book, follow your blog, and your Tweets too. Here's my question: With so many people claiming to be fashion experts, there are no firm rules to follow. Can you tell me traditional fashion rules since you are a Texas/Southern girl.

Thank you,

RT 

Hello RT, Thank you for your question.
Let me give you some valuable traditional information below, then we will ask our audience what traditional values and rules of etiquette their Mama taught them!
Traditional Rules for dressing after Labor Day:

• No linen
• No white clothing (not to be confused with winter white, champagne, or cream - of course you can wear white shirts, but not linen)
• No white handbags
• No white shoes
• No white watches
• No flipflops
• No patent leather - shoes or handbags
• No straw bags or hats
• No seersucker
• No madra shorts or tank tops

This was switch-out weekend. I switched out summer to fall clothing. 

Here's a glimpse of my shoe closet before the switch-a-roo.

Before the switch-a roo

Spring and summer shoes from closet waiting to be packed for annual trip to storage

Summer suits and dresses

Bright white and linen clothing - off to storage

I could not resist showing you this picture of Scooter (my snoopy cat) sticking his head out of part of the wall closet mirror during the switch. Do you see his head? (middle right - he is black and white)

Okay - now it is your time! Please advise RT and me about your traditional values and rules of etiquette that you were taught.

Love and hugs to you,xoJoy

Personally and Professionally Polished

via iheartpictures

Proper Introductions 

Do you want to be perceived as polished personally and professionally - here's valuable information you can use to make a proper introduction. 

I received several questions this week regarding proper introductions.
Here are some very valuable introduction tips :
(Socially)

• Women and men should always stand when introduced, look the person in the eye and smile.

• Shake a woman and man's hand the same, straight up and down. Extend a firm (not a bone crusher) handshake to show respect.

• Never use an honorific such as Ms., Mr., or Dr. to introduce yourself. (Example: A doctor should never introduce himself/herself as Dr. Jones, but the person making an introduction gives the honorific of Dr. Jones.)

• Socially: a woman’s name is said first in the introduction: Sally Smith this is Paul Miller.

• Keep introductions equal. If you use Ms. Jones, use Mr. Smith. Never say Mr. Smith this is John. It is best to use first and last names when making introductions. 

• It is important to create common ground between the two people you are introducing so they can springboard into their own conversation. Then you can excuse yourself and let them carry on a conversation.

(Business)

• The most important persons name is said first. Introduction is based on rank, not gender or age.

Correct: Ms. President, I would like to introduce Mr. Vice President
(never add “to you” in the previous sentence – it places the emphasis on the wrong person) Incorrect: Ms. President, I would like to introduce to you Mr. Vice President” FYI -
When making a very formal introduction, such as dignitaries use the word "present" instead of the words "this is" or "introduce."

• NEVER use the word "meet" when introducing people. When using the word "meet" to introduce someone, it always throw the emphasis toward to the wrong person. 

• For example, in reading the following sentence you can’t tell who is the CEO and who is the newly hired employee. "Jack Jones, I would like you to meet John Smith." Which person is the most important person in this sentence? Is Jack or John the CEO? 

• Rather, for an informal introduction, use the words "this is" as the bridge between the most important person's name said first and introducing the second person. "Jack Jones this is John Smith, our new staff member. Mr. Jones is our CFO."

• The client, guest or visitor outranks the boss or co-worker and should be introduced first.

A note to All Things Refined readers: The protocol of proper introductions is difficult to understand. I wish I could explain to each of you in person to make it easier for you.

Have a wonderful weekend my well refined friends!

Joy

Polish up!

Tex-Mex

Your Favorite Mexican Food?
Just arriving back in Texas - the first stop is always Mexican Food.
I have a list of my favorite and I know you do too!
What is your favorite Mexican Food Restaurant and what do you order?
This is serious business!
For me: Cheese Enchiladas at Mi Cocina.
I also like Uncle Julio's and La Hacienda Ranch
Remember: you can tell if a Mexican Food Restaurant is good or not by the chips and hot sauce they serve! If they get that wrong ...don't expect much!

www.mcrowd.com/micocina.shtm

Handbag Etiquette

What you must know ...

Do you have “Purse-onality?” We have always heard, "you are what you eat” and "clothes make the woman,” but for “purse-driven” women there is nothing more accurate to say than ... “You are your handbag!”

Whether it is a tote, a shoulder bag, a handle bag, or a clutch, our handbags are a combination of form, function and fashion. Many do not know there are rules of etiquette to follow regarding your “purse-onality!

• The difference in a handbag and a purse. (a purse is under $100.) Never go into Neiman Marcus and ask for their purse department - they don't have one!
• Never place handbags on dining table or conference table. (huge faux pas)
• Carry/hold your handbag on your left side. Leaving your right hand/arm available for socializing. (think of the Queen - she knows to carry her handbag on her left arm)
• Place handbag on the right side of chair when seated in a restaurant. 
• Never hang handbag over the back on your chair. 
• Clutch should be placed in lap or in seat behind you. 
• When to carry a clutch vs tote. A clutch is high maintenance and used for limited basics. Totes are many sizes and can also be used as briefcases. 
• How to change bags quickly. Using the easy “Inner-Purse”
• Keep handbags clean! (germ-free) Handbags/purses can be germ collectors - think of all the place they are set through-out the day. Depending on the material, use a bacterial wipe or spray. Some bags can be dry cleaned.
• Never ask if someone’s handbag is real or how much it cost! 

Just adore this bag! The Tory Burch Reva in the brown reptile print! I bought it at the beginning of the summer and have enjoyed it until my recent aforementioned bag in my last blog. (what's up with the reptile theme?) More power over the reptile - I suppose.

(Pardon my red toes at the bottom of the picture - oops!)

xoJoy

Shhh! Don't Tell My Husband

Power Over The Python!

If you know me, you know I'm cuckoo for cocoa puffs over handbags. Yes - I dream in handbags! I'll never have enough, but according to my darling JHW I have "way to many bags" - (oh quit cussing!) 

Poor thing - he had to have my closet extended last fall to accommodate all my babies.  He has also tried to shame me out of my lustfulness. Can you believe it? It will never work, actually, I believe handbags are biblical! Read Luke 12:33 (niv) ... provide purses for yourself that will not wear out ..."

How can you argue with that?!

Okay - now that I know you are onboard with me - I am going to share my latest secrets with you. Shhh - don't tell JHW!

First, I am NOT a snake person, in fact I HATE snakes, so to be dreamy over this bag was a big surprise to me. I HAD TO HAVE IT! Perhaps it is a feeling of "power over the python" that makes this bag so yummy. Go to Michael Kors and see for yourself - it is Python fabulous. 

Okay - so while I was at it, I decided to keep going with the whole "power over the python" defense explanation thing and take home a pair of python shoes too.

I love heels but, these Michael Kors pythons (kind of like driving shoes) are the coolest and beyond cushy. I don't want to take them off ... think I'll sleep in them tonight :) 

Oop! Gotta run...

This is our secret - SO SHHHH....  DO NOT TELL MY HUSBAND!

Love and hugs,

xoJoy

Michael Buble

In celebration of "The Coco's" birthday month - Gregory (her wonderful son) treated us (including Coco's sister, Regina) to almost everything on the menu at the W's trendy "Craft" restaurant, and .... floor passes to the coveted Michael Buble concert at the American Airlines Center in Dallas. It was nothing less than FABULOUS! 

I loved that Mr. Buble was sincerely grateful to his audience. He has spectacular manners, very charming, and extremely funny too. He won my heart with his sincerity and did I mention the boy has a set of pipes that did not need a microphone. Get this ... In his last song he put down the microphone and belted out the words so loudly -  I know everyone in the rafters and Oklahoma could hear him.

Dallas was his last stop on his "Crazy Love" tour and how did he know my favorite song of all was his last song - "Singing This Song for You." 

I will forever be a Michael Buble fan!

Thank you Gregory for a super perfect evening!

The best host in the world award goes to ...... Gregory! 

Thank you for allowing us to celebrate in COCO style! You made three women very happy and the memories with be with us forever.

xoJoy

Rocky Mountain High

Today I met a girl in Aspen who has lived here her entire life. She wants to move to Galveston, Texas - WHAT? I don't understand it! I get that she wants "the beach" but how could she leave this paradise.

Colorado - I love you!

God must have had a really fun time creating you.


Our Rocky Mountain High temperature almost reached 70 today.
Dallas, you will always be home to me - but I can see why Big D empties and heads to the Colorado hills. I'll promise to never get use to this beautiful scenery and perfect weather.


More later on the Aspen/Snowmass Village hometown 4th of July Parade.
xoJoy